Monday, September 22, 2014

Man always Focused in Teamfights Analyzed by Doctors

BERKELEY, CA— Medical doctors have begun an examination of a man who claims to always be focused in teamfights. The analysis, experts say, was started after the man wouldn't shut up about being focused in an online video game for several minutes.

"Every teamfight they just focus me down dude", the man said in an interview, "they fucking focused me, I couldn't do anything". The man, who was incapable of being shut up, demanded his team acknowledge just how bad he had been focused down in every teamfight. Despite statisticians' best efforts to prove to the man that he was, on average, the fourth player on his team to die in every large exchange, the man remained unconvinced.

"Why didn't you guys just kill them while they were focusing me?!"

Following a long and tedious 20 minute teamspeak argument over what constitutes being "focused" after the player died alone in the enemy jungle to two support heroes, the man was eventually persuaded by teammates to seek medical help, which he did. "While we couldn't find any evidence of the man being focused in teamfights", doctors said, "we did find that the man was incapable of shutting the fuck up". The man has since been released from hospital care after claims that doctors were focusing too much on him during examinations.

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